Forgiveness is a cornerstone of Christian faith, rooted in the character of God and the teachings of Jesus Christ. The Bible unequivocally calls believers to forgive others, reflecting the grace and mercy God extends to humanity. However, a common phrase in Christian circles, “forgive and forget,” suggests that believers are not only to forgive but also to erase the memory of others’ trespasses. While this idea may seem appealing, a careful examination of Scripture reveals no explicit command for Christians to “forget” the wrongs committed against them. Instead, the biblical mandate centers on forgiving fully, releasing resentment, and refusing to hold others’ sins against them, without requiring the literal erasure of memory. This article explores the biblical call to forgiveness, clarifies the absence of a “forgive and forget” mandate, and provides scriptural evidence to guide believers in understanding this distinction.
The Biblical Command to Forgive
The Bible is clear that Christians are called to forgive others as an act of obedience and gratitude for the forgiveness they have received from God. One of the most direct teachings comes from Jesus in Matthew 6:14-15 (ESV):
For if you forgive others theirtrespasses, your heavenly Father will alsoforgive you, but if you do not forgiveothers their trespasses, neither will yourFather forgive your trespasses.
This passage, part of the Sermon on the Mount, ties the believer’s forgiveness of others to God’s forgiveness of their own sins. It underscores forgiveness as a non-negotiable expectation for those who follow Christ. Similarly, in the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus instructs believers to pray, “And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matthew 6:12, ESV), reinforcing the reciprocal nature of forgiveness.
The Apostle Paul echoes this teaching in Colossians 3:13 (ESV):
bearing with one anotherand, if one has a complaint againstanother, forgiving each other; as theLord has forgiven you, so you also mustforgive.
Here, Paul points to Christ’s forgiveness as the model for Christian behavior. The phrase “as the Lord has forgiven you” emphasizes that believers are to emulate God’s gracious forgiveness, which is complete and unconditional. Another powerful example is found in Ephesians 4:32 (ESV):
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
These verses collectively establish that forgiveness is a fundamental Christian duty, rooted in God’s forgiveness of humanity through Christ’s sacrifice. However, none of these passages mention forgetting the offenses of others as a requirement.
God’s Forgiveness and “Forgetting” Sins
A common source of the “forgive and forget” idea is the biblical description of God’s forgiveness, which includes language about Him not remembering sins. For example, Hebrews 8:12 (ESV) quotes God’s promise in the new covenant:
For I will be merciful toward their iniquities,
and I will remember their sins no more.”
Similarly, Psalm 103:12 (ESV) declares:
as far as the east is from the west,
so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
These verses beautifully illustrate the depth of God’s forgiveness. When God “remembers sins no more,” it does not mean He literally loses the memory of them, as God is omniscient and cannot forget in a human sense. Instead, this language indicates that God chooses not to hold forgiven sins against the sinner. The phrase “as far as the east is from the west” signifies a complete removal of guilt and condemnation, ensuring that forgiven sins no longer define the relationship between God and the redeemed.
While these passages provide a model of God’s perfect forgiveness, they do not explicitly instruct Christians to forget the trespasses of others. Human memory does not function like God’s sovereign choice to “not remember” sins in a relational or judicial sense. Thus, applying the “forgetting” aspect of God’s forgiveness directly to human relationships requires careful consideration.
The Absence of a “Forgive and Forget” Command
A thorough examination of Scripture reveals no verse that explicitly commands Christians to “forgive and forget.” The Bible’s focus is on the act of forgiveness itself—releasing resentment, choosing not to retaliate, and restoring relationships where possible—without mandating the erasure of memory. Forgetting, as a human experience, is often involuntary and not something Scripture commands believers to do. Instead, the emphasis is on how Christians handle the memory of others’ wrongs.
One passage that comes close to addressing this issue is 1 Corinthians 13:5 (ESV), which describes the nature of love:
It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful
The phrase “keeps no record of wrongs” suggests that love does not dwell on or catalog offenses to hold them against others. While this could be interpreted as a form of “forgetting” in a practical sense—choosing not to let past wrongs dominate one’s thoughts or actions—it does not mean erasing the memory of the offense. Instead, it points to an attitude of grace that refuses to weaponize or cling to others’ sins.
Similarly, Philippians 3:13-14 (ESV) speaks of “forgetting” in a different context:
Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
Here, Paul refers to “forgetting” his own past—likely his failures or achievements before Christ—in order to focus on his spiritual growth. While this verse is not about forgiving others, it illustrates a principle of not being bound by the past, which some might apply to letting go of others’ offenses mentally. However, it still does not explicitly command forgetting others’ trespasses.
Forgiveness Without Forgetting: A Practical Approach
The absence of a biblical command to forget does not diminish the call to forgive fully. Christians are to forgive in a way that mirrors God’s forgiveness, which involves releasing others from the debt of their sin and choosing not to hold it against them. However, human memory often retains the reality of past hurts, especially in cases of significant harm or trauma. The Bible acknowledges this human experience and provides guidance for how to handle it.
For example, Matthew 18:15-17 (ESV) outlines a process for addressing sin within the church:
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.
This passage implies that the memory of an offense is not erased, as it may need to be addressed through confrontation and, if necessary, church discipline. The goal is reconciliation, but the process acknowledges that the offense is remembered in order to seek resolution. Similarly, wisdom and discernment—praised throughout Scripture (e.g., Proverbs 4:7, James 1:5)—may require remembering past actions to protect oneself or others from harm, even while extending forgiveness.
Forgiveness, then, is an act of the will that does not depend on erasing memory but on choosing to act in love despite it. As Romans 12:17-18 (ESV) instructs:
Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
This call to live peaceably does not require forgetting wrongs but rather choosing to pursue peace and righteousness in spite of them.
Conclusion
The Bible compels Christians to forgive others as God has forgiven them, as evidenced by passages like Matthew 6:14-15, Colossians 3:13, and Ephesians 4:32. God’s forgiveness, described as removing sins “as far as the east is from the west” (Psalm 103:12) and remembering them no more (Hebrews 8:12), serves as the model for believers. However, no scripture explicitly commands Christians to “forgive and forget” by erasing the memory of others’ trespasses. Instead, verses like 1 Corinthians 13:5 encourage believers to avoid keeping a record of wrongs in a vengeful sense, and passages like Matthew 18:15-17 suggest that remembering an offense may be necessary for reconciliation or protection.
For Christians, forgiveness is about releasing resentment and refusing to hold others’ sins against them, even if the memory of those sins remains. This distinction allows believers to forgive fully while exercising wisdom and discernment in relationships. By focusing on God’s example of forgiveness and the biblical call to love, Christians can navigate the tension between forgiving and remembering, trusting God’s grace to guide their hearts and actions.
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