Speaking Truth in Love: Sharing the Gospel with Compassion and Conviction
That Ain't Love
REO Speedwagon
You tell me what you think I'm feelin'
You know why I do what I do
Why should you listen to a word I'm sayin'
when it's already so clear to you?
You tell me 'bout my bad intentions
You doubt the very things I hold true
I can no longer live with your misconceptions
Baby all I can say to you, is
That ain't love, I believe you've got the wrong emotion
That ain't love, at least it doesn't feel like love to me
As long as I say what you wanna hear
Do what you wanna do, be who you want me to be
You think that's love, well baby that ain't love to me
We've got to talk it over sometime
These feelings won't just disappear
I'm just gonna keep telling you what's on my mind
Even if it's not what you wanna hear
Oooh right now your world and mine are such different places
Through yours I wander lost and confused
And I feel like I'm speaking in a different language
And the only words I haven't used, are
That ain't love, I believe you've got the wrong emotion
That ain't love, at least it doesn't feel like love to me
As long as I say what you wanna hear
Do what you wanna do, be who you want me to be
You think that's love, well baby that ain't love to me
You keep tellin' me
You know a place where your life would be better
You're makin' plans long-range
But I don't know how you expect to get there
When you refuse to change
Oooh baby
That ain't love, I believe you've got the wrong emotion
That ain't love, at least it doesn't feel like love to me
As long as I say what you wanna hear
Do what you wanna do, be who you want me to be
You think that's love, well baby that ain't love to me
Ooh baby that ain't love
That ain't lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-love
That ain't love, oh no
Baby that ain't love, that ain't love
(That ain't love, that ain't love, oohoo
that ain't love, oohoo)
Written by: Erik Darling, Patricia Street
Album: Life As We Know It
Released: 1987
Lyrics provided by Musixmatch
The lyrics of REO Speedwagon’s “That Ain’t Love” resonate deeply with the tension many Christians face when sharing the gospel. The song captures the frustration of being misunderstood, of having one’s heartfelt intentions questioned, and of navigating a divide where two parties seem to speak different languages. For those who seek to share the truth of God’s Word, this dynamic can feel all too familiar. People may perceive the gospel as a point of contention, a set of ideas to debate rather than a transformative truth to embrace. Yet, as believers, we are called to proclaim the uncompromised gospel with clarity while communicating it in a way that reflects the love and compassion of Christ. This balance—holding fast to truth while extending grace—is both a challenge and a biblical mandate.
The Gospel: A Non-Negotiable Truth
The gospel is not a suggestion or a philosophy open to revision. It is the unchanging revelation of God’s redemptive plan through Jesus Christ—His life, death, and resurrection to reconcile sinners to a holy God (1 Corinthians 15:3-4). This message is rooted in objective reality, grounded in Scripture, and affirmed by the testimony of the Holy Spirit. As Paul writes in Galatians 1:8, “But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach to you a gospel contrary to the one we preached to you, let him be accursed.” The truth of the gospel is non-negotiable, and we must resist the temptation to dilute it to make it more palatable.
In the song, the narrator laments being pressured to “say what you wanna hear” and “be who you want me to be.” Similarly, when sharing the gospel, we may face resistance from those who want us to conform the message to their worldview. They may argue that truth is subjective or that the gospel’s call to repentance is too rigid. Yet, like the narrator who declares, “That ain’t love,” we must recognize that compromising the gospel to avoid conflict is not an act of love but a disservice to those we seek to reach. True love speaks the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable, because it points people to the only source of eternal life.
The Call to Speak in Love
While the gospel’s truth is unyielding, the way we communicate it must reflect the heart of Christ. Ephesians 4:15 instructs us to speak “the truth in love,” growing into maturity in Christ. This balance is critical. Truth without love can become harsh, judgmental, or alienating, driving people away from the message. Love without truth, on the other hand, risks offering a hollow comfort that fails to address the reality of sin and the need for repentance.
The lyrics of “That Ain’t Love” highlight the pain of being misunderstood: “I feel like I’m speaking in a different language.” When sharing the gospel, we often encounter people whose worldviews—shaped by culture, personal experiences, or skepticism—feel like a foreign land. They may hear our words but interpret them through a lens that distorts the message. This is where love and compassion become essential. To speak the truth in love means listening to understand the other person’s perspective, acknowledging their struggles, and communicating in a way that demonstrates care for their soul.
For example, consider Jesus’ interaction with the woman at the well in John 4. He spoke directly about her sin, pointing out her history of broken relationships, yet He did so with gentleness and respect, offering her the “living water” of eternal life. His approach was neither condescending nor compromising. He met her where she was, engaged her questions, and led her to the truth. Similarly, we must seek to understand the people we share the gospel with, addressing their doubts and fears with empathy while pointing them to the hope of Christ.
Practical Steps for Sharing the Gospel with Compassion and Conviction
1. Know the Gospel Deeply: To share the gospel without compromise, we must first understand it ourselves. Study Scripture diligently, grounding yourself in the truth of God’s Word. Be prepared to articulate the core message of salvation through Christ alone (Acts 4:12) and to address common objections with clarity and confidence (1 Peter 3:15).
2. Listen with Empathy: Before speaking, listen. Ask questions to understand the other person’s beliefs, struggles, and objections. This not only builds trust but also helps you tailor your words to their context. As the song notes, “We’ve got to talk it over sometime / These feelings won’t just disappear.” Genuine dialogue opens the door for the gospel to be heard.
3. Speak with Clarity and Kindness: Present the gospel clearly, emphasizing both God’s holiness and His grace. Avoid jargon or overly confrontational language that could alienate the listener. Instead, use words that convey the urgency of the gospel while reflecting Christ’s compassion. For example, when addressing sin, focus on its universal reality (Romans 3:23) and God’s offer of forgiveness rather than personal condemnation.
4. Pray for Guidance and Transformation: Sharing the gospel is a spiritual act, and only the Holy Spirit can change hearts (John 16:8). Pray for wisdom to speak effectively and for the listener’s heart to be open to the truth. Trust that God is at work, even if the response is not immediate.
5. Model the Gospel in Your Life: Your actions often speak louder than your words. Live in a way that reflects the transformative power of the gospel—through humility, integrity, and love. When others see Christ’s character in you, they are more likely to listen to the message you share.
Refusing to Change, Yet Offering Hope
The song’s bridge laments, “You keep tellin’ me / You know a place where your life would be better / … But I don’t know how you expect to get there / When you refuse to change.” This echoes the challenge of sharing the gospel with those who cling to their own version of reality. The gospel calls for repentance—a turning from sin to faith in Christ (Mark 1:15). While we cannot force change, we can faithfully present the truth and trust God to work in their hearts.
At the same time, we must guard against self-righteousness. The temptation to view ourselves as superior to those who reject the gospel can undermine our witness. Instead, we should approach others with humility, remembering that we, too, were once lost and in need of grace (Ephesians 2:8-9). Our goal is not to win arguments but to point people to the Savior who loves them and desires their salvation (2 Peter 3:9).
Conclusion: Love That Speaks Truth
The tension described in “That Ain’t Love” mirrors the challenge of sharing the gospel in a world that often resists it. As believers, we are called to hold fast to the uncompromised truth of God’s Word while communicating it with the love and compassion of Christ. This means speaking boldly about sin, repentance, and salvation while listening empathetically, engaging respectfully, and trusting the Holy Spirit to work. True love does not shy away from hard truths but delivers them with a heart that longs for the hearer’s redemption. May we, like the Apostle Paul, proclaim the gospel with courage and love, knowing that it is “the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes” (Romans 1:16).
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